The Bean Blog (currently on hiatus)

Monday, August 01, 2005

Middle Aged Women Like to Confide in Me, Part 1: My Mother-in-Law

I met my then-future, now-current mother-in-law, Kay, after the Bread Winner and I had been going out for close to a year. This was a little more than five years ago. It was the Bread Winner's college graduation, which is the reason that Kay, who lived in Texas at the time, was out east. In addition to my mother-in-law, other family members were in attendance, including my future father-in-law, Fred, and the Bread Winner's twin sister. Like most people's parents (that I know anyway), the Bread Winner's mother and father had divorced some time ago. Both of them were remarried. Kay had recently moved onto husband #3, and Fred was married to his second wife, whom he'd been with for about 15 years.

Kay arrived the day before the graduation, and she, the Bread Winner, and I had dinner together. The next day, the Bread Winner was busy running around in her cute little graduation outfit and doing graduation things, and I found myself walking side by side with Kay, about 30 feet or so behind the Bread Winner's father and step-mother.

Kay and Fred had both been into folk dancing when they were in college. Fred was not a tall man, probably around 5'8" or 5'9", and Kay, like her daughter, was a small woman. They naturally paired together as dance partners, and one thing led to another.

As we walked behind Fred and his current wife, Kay said to me, "She's too big for him," referring to his wife's size as a dance partner. I hadn't thought of it before, but a quick glance at them revealed to me that she was right. Fred's wife was not a huge woman by any stretch of the imagination, but she was just about his size, and as a dance partner, the woman should be smaller than the man. So I nodded in agreement with Kay.

"Sometimes I can't believe they've managed to stay together all this time," Kay continued as we walked through the green grass and shady trees of the beautiful spring day. "You know, he went directly from me to her."

"Really? I'm not sure I did know that," I said. The information didn't sound completely unfamiliar to me, but neither did it ring a bell in my head.

Reminescing, she said, almost as if to no one in particular, "I never understood why he was so interested in sex. He wanted to have sex, what seemed like all the time to me, and I just did not understand what the big deal was. Now with Sean," she said, referring to her new husband, "I finally get it."

I missed a step as I walked beside her. Shaking my head slightly, I tried to think of a way to respond and finally came up with, "Oh."

"I don't know what it is," she went on, "but ever since I turned 50 and have been with Sean, sex is just so much fun. And now I understand: That's why Fred wanted it so much!"

I searched for another response, one better than "oh." I came up with, "Hmmm."

"And you know something else?" she asked. "My breasts have gotten bigger!"

I knew I could respond with actual words if I really set my mind to it, and finally, victory! "Is that so?"

She laughed. "Isn't that strange? At 50, my breasts have gotten bigger! And I like sex!"

Strange? Oh yes. Yes, indeed.


  • I someday hope to hear my 50-year-old wife say that very thing.

    By Blogger Tim, at 6:35 PM, August 01, 2005  

  • Uh...yeah, well...mmmhmmmmn... ~;^)

    By Blogger foxymama, at 1:21 AM, August 02, 2005  

  • Wow - I'm not sure if breasts growing at age 50 is such a good thing, but hey - she seems happy about it.

    And it's great that she likes you - that's always a good thing.

    By Blogger Diva, at 8:05 PM, August 02, 2005  

  • hehe Your responses were better then mine might have been.. I had a similar conversation with my Grandma eariler, and it really went like.. "Uh.. " on my end of things.

    By Blogger Debra, at 8:52 PM, August 05, 2005  

  • EWWW! EWWW! EWWW! GROSS! Old people, should not be allowed to talk about sex whatsoever! Cuz parents and sex just dont mix...thank God my parents never had sex.

    By Blogger D.T., at 9:38 PM, August 07, 2005  

  • Tim, Well, you'd only want her to say that if she was a NEW wife. Otherwise, you would have failed to sexually satisfy her for 20 or 30 years.

    Foxy. EXACTLY.

    Diva, It is nice to get along with the in-laws. With my previous girlfriends, there were always issues. Not about me, per se, but about the fact that their daughters were gay in the first place, and I became the (unwanted) confirmation of that.

    Debra, Sounds like you are I were about on par, conversationally. :)

    David, It's funny you said that. Reminds me of the Dan Savage book, The Kid, where he advises his adopted son to stop reading because if he stopped reading then, he would be able to believe that his parents had never had sex because he was adopted.

    By Blogger Oz, at 9:04 AM, August 10, 2005  

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