The Bean Blog (currently on hiatus)

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Happy Birthday, Bean Blog

There's been a rash of blog birthdays lately. I find it a bit odd that so many of the blogs I regularly read came into existence at the same time as mine. With all of the blogs out there, how did I become attracted to so many that were born in May 2004? Some of these blogs, like the Moxie Blog, are still going strong, maybe even stronger than ever. Other blogs, like Diary-A, have lost their steam and I wonder what the future holds for them.

On my blog's birthday, I have to wonder where it stands in the spectrum from Moxie to Diary-A. No doubt, my entries have been slowing and possibly becoming less interesting. My will to blog has abated a bit. But I still feel compelled to do it. Out of obligation? Responsibility? Or a realization that this is a good thing, cyclical in nature, and if I stick with it, my joy in it will return?

As I look back over my first posts, I find it amusing to see my blog's personality evolve. It has become something that is me and yet not me. Reading those posts, I can only imagine that I started out thinking I would write something literary, a bit dark, full of the depression I was feeling at the time. And then somewhere along the line, my blog changed into something more Seinfeld-esque as I questioned the bizarre and the ordinary, hopefully in an interesting way. Both of those facets are parts of me, although neither give a complete picture of who I am.

Reading my depression posts from last May and June, I can't help but notice that I've been depressed again lately. And this is something a bit...odd...to realize. Why on earth would I fall into depression in May and June? Aren't people supposed to awake from depression as the days get longer and warmer? Isn't the winter for the depressed?

And seeing this possible pattern makes me look at my blog in a new light. Of course I hoped/expected that it would be a record of what I was doing and thinking and feeling--that it would give me some insight down the road as I looked back on it. But I guess I wasn't expecting insight quite so quickly.

Looking back naturally leads to looking forward. Will the Bean Blog exist next year? Will the other blogs that I read that are struggling still be around? Or even the strong ones? This next year, my life will change like never before. I wonder what kind of record I will have of it.

6 Comments:

  • Happy Blogday Oz! I haven't been reading for the entire life of your blog, but it's been quite a while and is always a pleasure. I certainly agree that inclination to blog can fluctuate, but the enjoyment is sure to return if you give it time. For me, the best thing about being a part of the blogosphere is the reciprocated reading of blogs, and I hope you're still around for many blogdays to come!

    By Anonymous Fyse, at 5:04 PM, May 26, 2005  

  • HAPPY BLOGDAY TO YOU
    HAPPY BLOGDAY TO YOU
    HAPPY BLOGDAY DEAR OZZIYLN
    HAPPY BLOGDAY TO YOU

    and many more

    By Blogger Dan, at 6:48 PM, May 26, 2005  

  • Happy Blog Birthday to you, Ozzilyn! Yes, the blog has evolved, as have you, as have we all. I'm glad you're doing it...we wouldn't know of each other's existence otherwise, would me. I'm glad we do.

    As to the depression during warmer weather, assuming it's not hormonal due to your pregnancy or anything, there is a summer version of SAD. I get depressed when it gets so hot in the summer, particularly if it's humid and when the sun is unrelenting. Give me the cooler days anytime and for some reason which I will never understand, I feel positively euphoric when it snows. Go figure...

    By Blogger foxymama, at 8:25 PM, May 26, 2005  

  • We all blog for different reasons...and I'm not sure what mine is yet. But I do enjoy it--and find it somehow a connection to humanity that I (ironically) miss in my day-to-day interactions with people.

    By Blogger nicholasjcoleman, at 10:55 PM, May 26, 2005  

  • Happy Blogiversary, Oz!

    My annual depression always seems to hit me in August/September even though it's my favorite time of year. Mine seems more related to feeling like I'm not fulfilling my potential, but I suppose the sun could be the underlying cause of that. Maybe Spring makes you long for something greater the way Autumn does that to me?

    By Blogger Whimsy Chick, at 9:27 AM, May 27, 2005  

  • Me, too, Fyse. Thanks for sticking around through the ups and downs here in the Bean Blogosphere. :)

    Aw, Dan, thanks. If it hadn't been for your post a few days ago, I might have missed my blogiversary, just like I missed my 100th post.

    Foxy, Yes, I have certainly made a number of online friends through my blog and theirs, and you are one of my favorites. :) I hadn't heard of a summer version of SAD, but I guess anything is possible. I remember last summer being pretty hard, what with the death of my grandmother, Chester the $5000 Dog's various, expensive injuries, car troubles, etc. Here's hoping this summer will fare better and I will bounce out of this funk!

    Nick, It is odd that I seem to know more about what's going on in the lives of some of my blog friends as opposed to some of the actual people I know. I guess that's because blog's (can) offer us a window into other's minds that is not always open when we meet face to face.

    Kerry, Well, the thing that happens around May/June is that school ends. I'm not a big fan of school (as you know), but it does give me some structure, I guess. Something to do. Maybe that's the connection? Seems unlikely, but that's all that comes to mind....

    By Blogger Oz, at 2:38 PM, May 27, 2005  

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