The Bean Blog (currently on hiatus)

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Persuasive Argument for Fidelity

Earlier this month, a curious little story flitted across the sporting news world. I laughed a bit when I heard it and thought, "If anything will keep your partner faithful, that should do it." Then I forgot about it until it was brought up again on my favorite sports talk show, Pardon the Interruption. So I thought I'd go ahead and blog about it.

Apparently, the wife of New York Mets' pitcher Kris Benson has figured out how to keep her husband's jewels in her pocket. She told him that if she ever caught him cheating on her, she would have sex with everyone on his team. Not an empty threat, either, as I think that few would turn down an opportunity to bed this woman, recently named FHM's hottest wife. Anna Benson made her proclamation on Howard Stern's syndicated radio morning show. After announcing that she would screw everyone on his team, she went on to state that she'd also have sex with all the coaches, trainers, even the groundskeepers. That not enough? She made a pledge to follow the Mets around for a while and have sex with everybody from the opposing teams as well. That sounds like quite an undertaking, if you ask me, but I bet Kris Benson will think twice before he cheats on his wife.


  • Good lord! That's like... 12,435 different guys! Kris Benson should follow up with, "yeah, well I'll tell them all that you have genital herpes!"

    By Blogger Dan, at 10:01 PM, December 15, 2004  

  • Wonder if it would end up on the Internet? Paris Hilton would hate the competition.

    By Blogger Cattiva, at 12:40 PM, December 16, 2004  

  • Dan, yep, that would be a lot of work that would result in a lot of chaffing, I would imagine. The genital herpes comeback, though...someone should pass that along to Kris Benson.

    Cattiva, I wouldn't put it past Anna Benson to be filmed. She's already been photographed naked, so why not? Watch out, Paris Hilton!

    By Blogger Oz, at 12:03 PM, December 17, 2004  

  • Hmm... that almost seems like an empty threat to me. I mean, if he would cheat on HER, then either he's crazy or she's just not fulfilling some need of his. If that's the case, what's it matter if she fucks a bunch of other people? Doesn't change the fact that she just doesn't do it for him (or that he's a loon).

    By Blogger Newell, at 9:02 PM, December 20, 2004  

  • Dag, that's some kooky threatenin'. Hasn't she seen how those lummoxes spit all over everything? I wouldn't touch their chaw-soaked genitals with a ten foot pole. But hey, more power to her. She doesn't want that major league gravy train pulling out of the station without being on it.

    By Blogger Tim, at 10:55 AM, December 31, 2004  

  • Newell, I'm not sure I agree with you on your reasoning. I think men cheat all the time for no other reason than that they think they can get away with it. How many times have you heard, "But baby, it meant nothing to me!"? And also, if your theory is right, there's no reason to cheat. Just leave your wife/girlfriend and do what you want as a single guy.

    Tim, Yeah, it seems like having sex with all those guys would pose some health risks. There are a few STDs that can defeat a condom. But hey, if she knows that it would piss off her husband, I guess it might be worth it to her.

    By Blogger Oz, at 12:41 PM, January 02, 2005  

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