The Bean Blog (currently on hiatus)

Friday, November 19, 2004

Oddly Familiar

I've been seeing a lot of ads lately for the Schick Quattro. For those of you who live under a rock, this is a razor blade, designed for men, and it's big selling point is....it's got four blades! I remember the first ads. They went something like this, "First there was one blade, then two, then three....but four blades? That's overkill....right? Wrong. Introducing the Power of Four: the Schick Quattro."

Anyone else suspect that a Schick executive caught a re-run of There's Something About Mary before he came up with this idea?

Hitchhiker: I'm going to start my own company.
Ted: Really?
Hitchhiker: You want in?
Ted: Nah...I'm not...I don't....I don't really have any money....or....
Hitchhiker: You heard of this thing, the 8 Minute Abs?
Ted: Yeah, sure, 8 Minute Abs. Yeah, the exercise video.
Hitchhiker: This is going to blow that right out of the water. Listen to this: 7 Minute Abs.
Ted: Right. Yes. Okay, alright. I see where you're going.
Hitchhiker: Think about it. You walk into a video store. You see 8 Minute Abs sitting there. There's 7 Minute Abs right beside it. Which one are you going to pick?
Ted: I would go for the 7....yeah....
Hitchhiker: Bingo, man! Bingo! 7 Minute Abs! And we guarantee just as good a workout as the 8 Minute folk.
Ted: You guarantee it? How do you do that?
Hitchhiker: If you're not happy with the first seven minutes, we're going to send you the extra minute...free! See, that's it! That's our motto. That's where we're coming from. That's from A to B!
Ted: That's right. That's good, that's good. Unless, of course, somebody comes up with 6 Minute Abs. Then you're in trouble, huh?
Hitchhiker: No, not six. I said seven! Nobody's coming up with six! Who works out in six minutes? You won't even get your heart going! Not even a mouse on a wheel.
Ted: Good point. Yeah...
Hitchhiker: Seven's the key number here, think about it. Seven elevens. Seven doors. Seven, man, that's the number.

Actually, now that I think about it, maybe this was the conversation between the guys who came up with the three blade system. Surely no one would come out with four blades! How ridiculous would that be?

9 Comments:

  • Have you got the latest offering from Gillette over in the states? It's an 'all new system' called 'M3 Power', that apparently lifts the hairs by making the entire razor vibrate. A quote from the advert...

    "The micro-pulses seemed to make the shave closer."

    Seemed, that word beloved of advertising executives everywhere.

    By Blogger Fyse, at 11:58 AM, November 19, 2004  

  • Yep, we've got that. And the next new thing to come out in the "razor wars" will be a disposable three blade razor. Excited, aren't you?

    By Blogger Oz, at 4:33 PM, November 19, 2004  

  • I have a beard. Damn razors!

    By Blogger Dan, at 9:36 AM, November 22, 2004  

  • Dan, Good for you. I see that you are very excited about your beard. My next door neighbor has grown a beard, and he looks pretty good. Must be nice during the winter.

    By Blogger Oz, at 7:34 PM, November 22, 2004  

  • I've seen those, but I'm sticking with my Mach 3. I don't think I'm man enough for that fourth blade.

    By Blogger Tim, at 7:59 PM, November 22, 2004  

  • My in-laws bought me a Quattro. I'm not quite sure why. Are they trying to tell me I'm not smooth-faced enough for their daughter? Do they find me swarthy? Whatever their motivation for doing so, I've found the extra blade does NOTHING for my face. My good old Mach 3 wins because it's open in the back and hair doesn't get stuck in it - plus the fact that I really have to try hard to cut myself with it. I spend more time cleaning the guck out of the Quattro (sounds like a flippin' Audi!) than actually shaving.

    Plus it isn't a cool red one like the Mach 3. My kids picked red, so it's special.

    I published a column on just this kind of consumerism a couple of years back. Here's the link to it on my blog: it totally fits with what you're saying here:

    http://writteninc.blogspot.com/2004/08/raiding-archives-3-fishy-funny.html

    And, no, I won't be buying the M3Power (total rip-off of MP3...as if they're trying to get the young 'uns to buy in. Sorry McFly, ain't gonna happen!)

    And thus ends my shaving rant. Bye!

    By Blogger Carmi, at 12:11 AM, November 23, 2004  

  • Tim, I'm very happy with my three blade razor--the Venus or some such thing marketed to us girls. Am I woman enough for four blades? Probably. But why bother?

    Carmi, That article was funny, because the first post I ever read on your site was about goldfish crackers. It was this post about hydrogenated fats or something, and how there were goldfish without them, and your kids didn't like them. How's that for full circle?

    By Blogger Oz, at 8:48 AM, November 23, 2004  

  • That is a good point. I found another bmw 318i site that goes into even more bmw 318idetail.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:25 PM, October 18, 2005  

  • Good write up charles river saab

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:34 AM, October 23, 2005  

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